“Man, you better ask these hoes about me. I run up in so many bitches, you’d swear I was a gynecologist.” Rich moved in closer to me, a tactic I’d seen used a million times by people who were trying to build my confidence in them in order for them to sell me things. Rich was the type of guy that, if you had a story, he had a slightly better one of the same variety. If you had a six-figure income, he had a seven figure one. If you had a 2,500 square foot home, his happened to be 5,000 square feet.
Some women thought he was a Harvard-educated physician, some believed he was an entertainment mogul, and still others thought he held one of at least 10 more prestigious, well-paid jobs. You never knew what was true and what wasn’t with this guy, but he was in and out of love with a different woman every month. He would always tell me he’d met a dime and felt she was the one and that things between them were going places. The women were never dimes and their circumstances never matched his claims. I didn’t understand where he got these women, but one after the other they came and went. I never took him seriously but his grandstanding pissed me off on more than one occasion. He was gesturing with his hands as if he was a visionary capitalist explaining an en exciting new venture. “I could have any bitch I want, but I got a chick in my life right now that’s been so good to me, I can’t even look at another chick. She so damn cold bruh, I just look at these bitches and say nah man, I’ll pass. Even if I wanted to do some shit I couldn’t ‘cause I got the best one on my team already.” He had his hands up in the air as if he’d said the last word and spoken the gospel truth in the process. I stepped closer to him, grabbed his shoulder firmly and moved him to the side while I went for juice from the refrigerator. I thought to myself that it would be better for me not to meet his newest beau because I found his bragging absolutely intolerable after I’d seen what he considered to be a fine woman and talked to her at least casually, time after time. I prided myself on having a very diverse set of friends, but Rich was really more of an associate, and I frequently considered disassociating myself from his circle of friends. He exaggerated and lied so much, I doubt he even realized half the time what his real situation was. He did have an okay job, but he was a long way from being any of the things some people thought he was. I humored him. “I see. Well, I’m glad to hear things are good with you and your chick. What does she do?” His eyes lit up. “Man, check this out. My girl’s got a multimillion dollar business and she owns three houses. She got her own, dude. New S-class Mercedes Benz and she already had a Range! She can handle her own and she’s on my level.” I never let him swindle me, even when I played along with some of his fabrications. I look him straight in the eyes. “If she has all that my brother, she’s well above your level. What, did you win the lottery in the last week or something?” He balked at my statements, unwilling to push me into an argument. “Man, you a wild dude,” he said with a chuckle and jovially slapped my shoulder. “No Rich, you’re just full of shit sometimes man. Hell, I just wish I had your fuckin’ imagination sometimes. If I lied to women like you do, I’d have a team. Problem for me is I can’t get myself to want to spend all that time and energy keeping my stories straight. Plus, I actually know a lie from the truth, and your ass doesn’t really seem to.” Rich acquiesced and had a moment of clarity. “Man, I speak life on the things I know are coming my way. Lord’s gonna bless your boy, big time. I already got everything I say I do and more.” My face said conversation over. Now he was getting to me. He shifted. “Say man, we need to get out and do something.” My look changed to a look of slight distaste at the notion. “What you tryin’ to get into?” I said, holding the cup of juice halfway to my mouth before taking a drink to break up my growing irritation with him.
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